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Book Review: Swimming in Circles

on December 3, 2013

Friends, I am making THE MOST of this rest cycle. I have been drinking literally every day. And having so much coffee I get all bajiggity. Okay, so maybe I’m overdoing it. I will lose steam eventually and stop being such a lush, but that day is not today!

The insensitive friend from the previous post did text me again the next day and apologize. She said she wasn’t trying to minimize my experience, she was just trying to identify with how Facebook can make you feel shitty. I can totally get that for her, a woman who isn’t interested in marriage and isn’t sure if she wants children, that seeing everyone flaunting the ‘American Dream’ of marriage and family as the best way to exist must be really annoying. She is the minority and that can make you really question your life. BUT her having to defend her choices and work at being confident about what she wants for her life is NOT the same as me not being able to have the things that I do want. I’m sure she still thinks I overreacted, but at least she apologized.

I have now read 3 books related to infertility, and I figured I could share how I felt about them. I have not yet read Waiting for Daisy, which I know is one of the more popular selections. Through another blog, I discovered the podcast “Creating a Family” which I highly recommend. It’s complimentary to a website and each show is an hour long and on a topic related to infertility or adoption. One of the show topics was called “Infertility from the Male Perspective” so I was able to coax The Husband into listening. He really enjoyed it and found it very relatable.

Anyway, the guest on the show was Michael Barr, who went through male factor infertility. He wrote a book about he and his wife’s experience called “Swimming in Circles: A Baby Chase Odyssey.” Knowing that there are not near as many resources for men experiencing infertility as there are for women, I went on Amazon and bought the book for him. When he started reading it he went on and on about all the things that he could relate to or he thought was funny, so of course I had to pick it up too.Ā 

In a nutshell, after some time trying with no success, he is diagnosed with sperm motility issues and they are recommended for IVF. I didn’t really understand why they didn’t try IUI first, but whatever. He talks about his experiences in the sperm sample room (something I am super fascinated by) the way he and his wife’s different approaches to and feelings about infertility affected their relationship, maneuvering the hurtful remarks of well meaning friends and family, and of course all the injections and doctors visits that come with IVF. Though their path to parenthood was very different than the one we are on, and the book was written from a male perspective, I really liked the book. It was funny and honest, and it really resonated with both myself and the husband. We found ourselves saying to each other “Oh my gosh! This sounds just like us!” so many times. About halfway through the book I realized that the couple actually lives in my hometown and I could recognize places they visited, and that made it even more fun. If you think your partner will be open to reading a book, I highly recommend buying this for him. And then when he’s done you can steal it and read it too.

Find the book on Amazon here!

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4 responses to “Book Review: Swimming in Circles

  1. Susan says:

    On a break too, and on my second cup of coffee as well. Not much of a drinker, though that dose sound divine šŸ™‚

  2. Katie says:

    Thanks for the references. I just downloaded a whole bunch of the podcasts and can’t wait to listen to them during my workout. I recently finished (and wrote a review on my blog) Waiting For Daisy and I loved it!

    • InfertileMyrtle says:

      I saw your review! I need to check it out. The podcasts are so amazing! I’ve been listening to a lot of the ones on adoption. We have 3 more UIUs before we start down that path, but it’s such a comfort to know the resource is there. And try to get your husband to listen to the male perspective ones! Mine loved ’em! šŸ™‚

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